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02/05/2011 / melgardener

Credit where credit is due

Last night I cut my daughter’s toenails. That, in itself, is probably not that important an occasion to mark except that it gave me an idea.

It’s well known that we are a nation of ageing individuals with declining population growth – so the problem becomes, what do we do when we are old and there are not enough of the younger generation to look after us all.

Here’s my solution…task credits.

And here’s how it works:
Someone, somewhere needs to set up a central database of credits. Every time you do a task for one of your kids, you receive a credit. These credits accrue and, when you are old and need assistance, you can ‘cash’ in the credits. Tasks are credited on a sliding scale, with the more thankless tasks receiving higher points.

Some examples:

Wiping bottoms 1 credit
Driving to activities 1 credit
Wiping noses 1 credit
Sitting through presentation day 2 credits
Washing/ironing/putting clothes away 2 credits
Picking up wet towels from the bathroom floor 2 points
Staying home from work when child sick 3 credits
Playing hide-and-seek for the 1billionth time in a wet weekend 4 credits
Standing outside, on a freezing soccer/football/netball field at 7am on a Saturday morning in winter 4 credits
Biting your tongue and not saying “I told you so” when they totally deserved to hear it 4 credits
Cleaning up vomit/wee/poo 5 credits
Feigning interest in latest toy fad 5 credits
Sitting through any Barbie movie, then watching it again 5 credits
De-tangling knotted hair (includes removing chewing gum) 5 credits
Being the one who knows where everything is 5 points
Helping (bribing/cajoling) with homework 5 points
Buying a new pair of shoes, only to discover that a growth spurt means they’ve grown out of them in a week 5 credits
Listening to “are we there yet” on a car or plane trip 10 credits
Driving home then back to school again when child announces, upon being dropped at school, “I forgot my [insert essential item here]” 10 credits
Picking them up from a party at 2am and driving all their drunk friends home 10 credits
Teaching them to drive 15 points

Just think…in a standard lifetime we could all accrue enough credits to cheerfully drive our children mad.

What thankless task do you perform that you feel you should get credit for? Is there something your parents did for you that you really appreciate? Any other ideas to add to the list above?



Leave a Comment
  1. Amy Morris / May 12 2011 7:58 pm

    Oh I hear you – we could be credit wealthy in our 70’s. Can I add pushing kids on swings at the park – 15 credits (at least).!!!

  2. melgardener / May 13 2011 8:01 am

    I can’t believe I missed that one! I’ve lost count of how many credits that would earn me 🙂

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