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21/11/2011 / melgardener

Coz ya gotta have friends

I am proud to call these people friends

Edited to add that I’m so thankful for my friends I’m linking up with “Kate Says Stuff” for Thankful Thursday.

Speaking to an acquaintance a couple of weeks ago, I happened to comment how lucky I was to have a number of friends in my close circle whom I had known for close to 20 years. The acquaintance looked at me appraisingly and said “I don’t think luck has anything to do with it”.

And, you know, she’s right.

I am lucky, but it’s not simply luck that has delivered the group of amazing friends who have been there for every milestone and watched me grow through some of my most formative years. They have supported me and cared for me during good times and bad, and always offered an ear or a shoulder when needed. I can’t hide anything from them – they know me too well.

And there is a certain relief in that last statement. I don’t have to put on an act for them, I don’t have to mind my ps and qs, they understand me in both my silences and my outbursts. There is an honesty that exists between us that I have with no other friend.

But, back to being lucky.

Any friendship takes work and effort from both sides. And I believe it’s very important that the effort be seen by both parties as equal. As in any relationship, if one party feels that they are the only person making an effort, this will lead to resentment.

I hope my friends know that they can call on me for anything and I would willingly give them the proverbial shirt from my back. In return, I feel 100 per cent certain that I can do the same and you simply can’t put a price tag on that level of support.

On the weekend, I took care of a friend’s children for a few hours so she could attend a function. It was not a hassle in the slightest and I took great pleasure in knowing she was taking some time for herself to relax and enjoy the party. In my eyes it was the least I could do in return for all that she does for me. And I think that’s the key – if both parties feel that the other provides so much more than they could repay (and I’m not talking dollar amounts) then you have what can be called “equal debt”.

Equal debt is where both people feel enriched via the experience of having the other person in their lives. Because it is equal, each side contributes to the relationship in the ways they are strongest and neither takes the other for granted. It takes so little to remind our friends how much they mean to us and how grateful we are to have them in our lives but it’s really easy to forget to do it.

So this is my act of gratitude. To my gorgeous friends – male and female – who nurture and support, bring laughter and joy, and know me sometimes better than I know myself – THANK YOU.

What does friendship mean to you? How do you nurture your relationships?



Leave a Comment
  1. Marita / Nov 24 2011 7:47 pm

    Friends are the best 🙂 I’ve got a few friends I’ve known for a long time, but having moved interstate 4 times my friends are rather spread out geographically.

    • melgardener / Nov 25 2011 6:46 am

      A great friendship will never be hampered by geography. One of my closest friends has lived all over Australia but we still keep in touch and when we get together it’s just like we saw eachother last week. Thanks for dropping by.

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