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02/02/2012 / melgardener

First Day

So, she is gone. My youngest, and last, child was delivered into the welcoming arms of our local primary school this morning to start her educational journey.

And now the house seems so quiet.

I don’t know whether to laugh or cry…somewhere in between seems to be my body’s natural reaction so far. Together we have counted down the days, bought school shoes and uniforms, packed school bags, purchased myriad supplies, and filled in countless forms.

And finally, inevitably, the day has arrived.

I had been looking forward to this day with the attitude that, finally, I would have some peace and quiet. A chance to get stuck in to my ever-growing To Do list. The last couple of weeks of school holidays were trying times for us all with the children squabbling, unused to spending so much time together. In particular, the amount of wet weather in Sydney didn’t help, keeping us all stuck inside for much longer than we are all comfortable.

Yet, now that she is gone, I feel her absence so keenly and long for her to sneak into my office, snake her little arms around my neck, and plant a wet kiss on my cheek. From feeling as though my head would explode if I heard “I’m bored” one more time, I now yearn to hear her voice.

I am so proud of the way she handled herself this morning. Confident and happy, she chattered excitedly to me as we walked down the hill to the school. Even the constant drizzle couldn’t dampen her mood. When we arrived and were sorted into classes, she quickly and efficiently stowed her bag then took herself into the classroom, sat at a table and started drawing.

With not even a glance backwards to see if I was still there.

I commented dryly to another mother that I almost wanted her to be a bit clingy so I could feel just a little bit missed but I was quickly set straight that this way is much better for both of us (with which I do agree).

For my daughter one door opens. And for me this signifies the closing of another. As with my older child, my role in their life will change as they become more influenced by their friends and social circles, as they grow and develop their own opinions, likes and dislikes, and as I start to let out the apron strings just that little more.

So fly and be free, my gorgeous girl. I’ll always be here to catch you if you fall.

Do you have a child starting school this year? Or, if you have older children, what was your experience?

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2 Comments

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  1. Bez / Feb 2 2012 10:46 am

    Beautiful Mel, I will take your fly and be free beautiful girl I will always be here to catch you line and make a cup of tea, shed a tear and reflect on our own little journey! beautifully written

    • melgardener / Feb 2 2012 10:52 am

      Easy to say…not so easy to put into practice but I’ll keep trying 🙂

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